"Cursed, cursed
creator! Why did I live? Why,
in that instant,
did I not extinguish the spark
of existence which you had so
wantonly bestowed? I know not;
despair had not yet taken possession
of me; my feelings were those
of rage and revenge. I could
with pleasure have destroyed
the cottage and its inhabitants,
and have glutted myself with
their shrieks and misery.
"When night
came, I quitted my retreat,
and wandered in the
wood; and now, no longer restrained
by the fear of discovery, I gave
vent to my anguish in fearful
howlings. I was like a wild beast
that had broken the toils; destroying
the objects that obstructed me,
and ranging through the wood
with a stag like swiftness. O!
what a miserable night I passed!
the cold stars shone in mockery,
and the bare trees waved their
branches above me: now and then
the sweet voice of a bird burst
forth amidst the universal stillness.
All, save I, were at rest or
in enjoyment: I, like the arch-fiend,
bore a hell within me; and, finding
myself unsympathised with, wished
to tear up the trees, spread
havoc and destruction around
me, and then to have sat down
and enjoyed the ruin.
"But this was
a luxury of sensation that
could not endure; I became
fatigued with excess of bodily
exertion, and sank on the damp
grass in the sick impotence of
despair. There was none among
the myriads of men that existed
who would pity or assist me;
and should I feel kindness towards
my enemies? No: from that moment
I declared everlasting war against
the species, and, more than all,
against him who had formed me,
and sent me forth to this insupportable
misery.
"The sun rose;
I heard the voices of men,
and knew that
it was impossible to return to
my retreat during that day. Accordingly
I hid myself in some thick underwood,
determining to devote the ensuing
hours to reflection on my situation.
"The pleasant
sunshine, and the pure air
of day, restored
me to some degree of tranquillity;
and when I considered what had
passed at the cottage, I could
not help believing that I had
been too hasty in my conclusions.
I had certainly acted imprudently.
It was apparent that my conversation
had interested the father in
my behalf, and I was a fool in
having exposed my person to the
horror of his children. I ought
to have familiarised the old
De Lacey to me, and by degrees
to have discovered myself to
the rest of his family, when
they should have been prepared
for my approach. But I did not
believe my errors to be irretrievable;
and, after much consideration,
I resolved to return to the cottage,
seek the old man, and by my representations
win him to my party.
"These thoughts
calmed me, and in the afternoon
I sank into
a profound sleep; but the fever
of my blood did not allow me
to be visited by peaceful dreams.
The horrible scene of the preceding
day was for ever acting before
my eyes; the females were flying,
and the enraged Felix tearing
me from his father's feet. I
awoke exhausted; and, finding
that it was already night, I
crept forth from my hiding-place,
and went in search of food.
"When my hunger
was appeased, I directed my
steps towards the
well known path that conducted
to the cottage. All there was
at peace. I crept into my hovel,
and remained in silent expectation
of the accustomed hour when the
family arose. That hour passed,
the sun mounted high in the heavens,
but the cottagers did not appear.
I trembled violently, apprehending
some dreadful misfortune. The
inside of the cottage was dark,
and I heard no motion; I cannot
describe the agony of this suspense.
"Presently
two countrymen passed by; but,
pausing near the cottage,
they entered into conversation,
using violent gesticulations;
but I did not understand what
they said, as they spoke the
language of the country, which
differed from that of my protectors.
Soon after, however, Felix approached
with another man: I was surprised,
as I knew that he had not quitted
the cottage that morning, and
waited anxiously to discover,
from his discourse, the meaning
of these unusual appearances.
"`Do you consider,'
said his companion to him,
`that you will
be obliged to pay three months'
rent, and to lose the produce
of your garden? I do not wish
to take any unfair advantage,
and I beg therefore that you
will take some days to consider
of your determination.'
"`It is utterly
useless,' replied Felix; `we
can never again inhabit
your cottage. The life of my
father is in the greatest danger,
owing to the dreadful circumstance
that I have related. My wife
and my sister will never recover
their horror. I entreat you not
to reason with me any more. Take
possession of your tenement,
and let me fly from this place.'
"Felix trembled
violently as he said this.
He and his companion
entered the cottage, in which
they remained for a few minutes,
and then departed. I never saw
any of the family of De Lacey
more.
"I continued
for the remainder of the day
in my hovel in a state
of utter and stupid despair.
My protectors had departed, and
had broken the only link that
held me to the world. For the
first time the feelings of revenge
and hatred filled my bosom, and
I did not strive to control them;
but, allowing myself to be borne
away by the stream, I bent my
mind towards injury and death.
When I thought of my friends,
of the mild voice of De Lacey,
the gentle eyes of Agatha, and
the exquisite beauty of the Arabian,
these thoughts vanished, and
a gush of tears somewhat soothed
me. But again, when I reflected
that they had spurned and deserted
me, anger returned, a rage of
anger; and, unable to injure
anything human, I turned my fury
towards inanimate objects. As
night advanced, I placed a variety
of combustibles around the cottage;
and, after having destroyed every
vestige of cultivation in the
garden, I waited with forced
impatience until the moon had
sunk to commence my operations.
"As the night
advanced, a fierce wind arose
from the woods, and
quickly dispersed the clouds
that had loitered in the heavens:
the blast tore along like a mighty
avalanche, and produced a kind
of insanity in my spirits that
burst all bounds of reason and
reflection. I lighted the dry
branch of a tree, and danced
with fury around the devoted
cottage, my eyes still fixed
on the western horizon, the edge
of which the moon nearly touched.
A part of its orb was at length
hid, and I waved my brand; it
sunk, and, with a loud scream,
I fired the straw, and heath,
and bushes, which I had collected.
The wind fanned the fire, and
the cottage was quickly enveloped
by the flames, which clung to
it, and licked it with their
forked and destroying tongues.
"As soon as
I was convinced that no assistance
could save
any part of the habitation, I
quitted the scene and sought
for refuge in the woods.
"And now, with
the world before me, whither
should I bend my
steps? I resolved to fly far
from the scene of my misfortunes;
but to me, hated and despised,
every country must be equally
horrible. At length the thought
of you crossed my mind. I learned
from your papers that you were
my father, my creator; and to
whom could I apply with more
fitness than to him who had given
me life? Among the lessons that
Felix had bestowed upon Safie,
geography had not been omitted.
I had learned from these the
relative situations of the different
countries of the earth. You had
mentioned Geneva as the name
of your native town; and towards
this place I resolved to proceed.
"But how was
I to direct myself? I knew
that I must travel in
a south westerly direction to
reach my destination; but the
sun was my only guide. I did
not know the names of the towns
that I was to pass through, nor
could I ask information from
a single human being; but I did
not despair. From you only could
I hope for succour, although
towards you I felt no sentiment
but that of hatred. Unfeeling,
heartless creator! you had endowed
me with perceptions and passions,
and then cast me abroad an object
for the scorn and horror of mankind.
But on you only had I any claim
for pity and redress, and from
you I determined to seek that
justice which I vainly attempted
to gain from any other being
that wore the human form.
"My travels
were long, and the sufferings
I endured intense.
It was late in autumn when I
quitted the district where I
had so long resided. I travelled
only at night, fearful of encountering
the visage of a human being.
Nature decayed around me, and
the sun became heatless; rain
and snow poured around me; mighty
rivers were frozen; the surface
of the earth was hard, and chill,
and bare, and I found no shelter.
Oh, earth! how often did I imprecate
curses on the cause of my being!
The mildness of my nature had
fled, and all within me was turned
to gall and bitterness. The nearer
I approached to your habitation,
the more deeply did I feel the
spirit of revenge enkindled in
my heart. Snow fell, and the
waters were hardened; but I rested
not. A few incidents now and
then directed me, and I possessed
a map of the country; but I often
wandered wide from my path. The
agony of my feelings allowed
me no respite: no incident occurred
from which my rage and misery
could not extract its food; but
a circumstance that happened
when I arrived on the confines
of Switzerland, when the sun
had recovered its warmth, and
the earth again began to look
green, confirmed in an especial
manner the bitterness and horror
of my feelings.
"I generally
rested during the day, and
travelled only when
I was secured by night from the
view of man. One morning, however,
finding that my path lay through
a deep wood, I ventured to continue
my journey after the sun had
risen; the day, which was one
of the first of spring, cheered
even me by the loveliness of
its sunshine and the balminess
of the air. I felt emotions of
gentleness and pleasure, that
had long appeared dead, revive
within me. Half surprised by
the novelty of these sensations,
I allowed myself to be borne
away by them; and, forgetting
my solitude and deformity, dared
to be happy. Soft tears again
bedewed my cheeks, and I even
raised my humid eyes with thankfulness
towards the blessed sun which
bestowed such joy upon me.
"I continued
to wind among the paths of
the wood, until
I came to its boundary, which
was skirted by a deep and rapid
river, into which many of the
trees bent their branches, now
budding with the fresh spring.
Here I paused, not exactly knowing
what path to pursue, when I heard
the sound of voices that induced
me to conceal myself under the
shade of a cypress. I was scarcely
hid, when a young girl came running
towards the spot where I was
concealed, laughing, as if she
ran from some one in sport. She
continued her course along the
precipitous sides of the river,
when suddenly her foot slipt,
and she fell into the rapid stream.
I rushed from my hiding place;
and, with extreme labour from
the force of the current, saved
her, and dragged her to shore.
She was senseless; and I endeavoured
by every means in my power to
restore animation, when I was
suddenly interrupted by the approach
of a rustic, who was probably
the person from whom she had
playfully fled. On seeing me,
he darted towards me, and tearing
the girl from my arms, hastened
towards the deeper parts of the
wood. I followed speedily, I
hardly knew why; but when the
man saw me draw near, he aimed
a gun, which he carried, at my
body, and fired. I sunk to the
ground, and my injurer, with
increased swiftness, escaped
into the wood.
"This was then
the reward of my benevolence!
I had saved a
human being from destruction,
and, as a recompense, I now writhed
under the miserable pain of a
wound, which shattered the flesh
and bone. The feelings of kindness
and gentleness which I had entertained
but a few moments before gave
place to hellish rage and gnashing
of teeth. Inflamed by pain, I
vowed eternal hatred and vengeance
to all mankind. But the agony
of my wound overcame me; my pulses
paused, and I fainted.
"For some weeks
I led a miserable life in the
woods, endeavouring
to cure the wound which I had
received. The ball had entered
my shoulder, and I knew not whether
it had remained there or passed
through; at any rate I had no
means of extracting it. My sufferings
were augmented also by the oppressive
sense of the injustice and ingratitude
of their infliction. My daily
vows rose for revenge--a deep
and deadly revenge, such as would
alone compensate for the outrages
and anguish I had endured.
"After some
weeks my wound healed, and
I continued my journey.
The labours I endured were no
longer to be alleviated by the
bright sun or gentle breezes
of spring; all joy was but a
mockery, which insulted my desolate
state, and made me feel more
painfully that I was not made
for the enjoyment of pleasure.
"But my toils
now drew near a close; and
in two months from
this time I reached the environs
of Geneva.
"It was evening
when I arrived, and I retired
to a hiding-place
among the fields that surround
it, to meditate in what manner
I should apply to you. I was
oppressed by fatigue and hunger,
and far too unhappy to enjoy
the gentle breezes of evening,
or the prospect of the sun setting
behind the stupendous mountains
of Jura.
"At this time
a slight sleep relieved me
from the pain of
reflection, which was disturbed
by the approach of a beautiful
child, who came running into
the recess I had chosen, with
all the sportiveness of infancy.
Suddenly, as I gazed on him,
an idea seized me, that this
little creature was unprejudiced,
and had lived too short a time
to have imbibed a horror of deformity.
If, therefore, I could seize
him, and educate him as my companion
and friend, I should not be so
desolate in this peopled earth.
"Urged by this
impulse, I seized on the boy
as he passed and drew
him towards me. As soon as he
beheld my form, he placed his
hands before his eyes and uttered
a shrill scream: I drew his hand
forcibly from his face, and said,
`Child, what is the meaning of
this? I do not intend to hurt
you; listen to me.'
"He struggled
violently. `Let me go,' he
cried; `monster! ugly
wretch! you wish to eat me, and
tear me to pieces--You are an
ogre--Let me go, or I will tell
my papa.'
"`Boy, you
will never see your father
again; you must come with
me.'
"`Hideous monster!
let me go. My papa is a Syndic--he
is M.
Frankenstein--he will punish
you. You dare not keep me.'
"`Frankenstein!
you belong then to my enemy--to
him towards
whom I have sworn eternal revenge;
you shall be my first victim.'
"The child
still struggled, and loaded
me with epithets which
carried despair to my heart;
I grasped his throat to silence
him, and in a moment he lay dead
at my feet.
"I gazed on
my victim, and my heart swelled
with exultation
and hellish triumph: clapping
my hands, I exclaimed, `I, too,
can create desolation; my enemy
is not invulnerable; this death
will carry despair to him, and
a thousand other miseries shall
torment and destroy him.'
"As I fixed
my eyes on the child, I saw
something glittering
on his breast. I took it; it
was a portrait of a most lovely
woman. In spite of my malignity,
it softened and attracted me.
For a few moments I gazed with
delight on her dark eyes, fringed
by deep lashes, and her lovely
lips; but presently my rage returned:
I remembered that I was for ever
deprived of the delights that
such beautiful creatures could
bestow; and that she whose resemblance
I contemplated would, in regarding
me, have changed that air of
divine benignity to one expressive
of disgust and affright.
"Can you wonder
that such thoughts transported
me with rage? I only
wonder that at that moment, instead
of venting my sensations in exclamations
and agony, I did not rush among
mankind and perish in the attempt
to destroy them.
"While I was
overcome by these feelings,
I left the spot where
I had committed the murder, and
seeking a more secluded hiding-place,
I entered a barn which had appeared
to me to be empty. A woman was
sleeping on some straw; she was
young: not indeed so beautiful
as her whose portrait I held;
but of an agreeable aspect, and
blooming in the loveliness of
youth and health. Here, I thought,
is one of those whose joy-imparting
smiles are bestowed on all but
me. And then I bent over her,
and whispered, `Awake, fairest,
thy lover is near--he who would
give his life but to obtain one
look of affection from thine
eyes: my beloved, awake!'
"The sleeper
stirred; a thrill of terror
ran through me. Should
she indeed awake, and see me,
and curse me, and denounce the
murderer? Thus would she assuredly
act, if her darkened eyes opened
and she beheld me. The thought
was madness; it stirred the fiend
within me--not I, but she shall
suffer: the murder I have committed
because I am for ever robbed
of all that she could give me,
she shall atone. The crime had
its source in her: be hers the
punishment! Thanks to the lessons
of Felix and the sanguinary laws
of man, I had learned now to
work mischief. I bent over her,
and placed the portrait securely
in one of the folds of her dress.
She moved again, and I fled.
"For some days
I haunted the spot where these
scenes had taken
place; sometimes wishing to see
you, sometimes resolved to quit
the world and its miseries for
ever. At length I wandered towards
these mountains, and have ranged
through their immense recesses,
consumed by a burning passion
which you alone can gratify.
We may not part until you have
promised to comply with my requisition.
I am alone, and miserable; man
will not associate with me; but
one as deformed and horrible
as myself would not deny herself
to me. My companion must be of
the same species, and have the
same defects. This being you
must create." |