"It is but honest that I should
acknowledge at the beginning
of my recital that I was born
an ordinary Woggle-Bug," began
the creature, in a frank and
friendly tone. "Knowing no better,
I used my arms as well as my
legs for walking, and crawled
under the edges of stones or
hid among the roots of grasses
with no thought beyond finding
a few insects smaller than myself
to
feed upon.
"The
chill nights
rendered me
stiff and motionless,
for
I wore no clothing, but each
morning the warm rays of the
sun gave me new life and restored
me to activity. A horrible existence
is this, but you must remember
it is the regular ordained existence
of Woggle-Bugs, as well as of
many other tiny creatures that
inhabit the earth.
"But
Destiny had
singled me
out, humble
though I was,
for
a grander fate! One day I crawled
near to a country school house,
and my curiosity being excited
by the monotonous hum of the
students within, I made bold
to enter and creep along a crack
between two boards until I reached
the far end, where, in front
of a hearth of glowing embers,
sat the master at his desk.
"No
one noticed
so small a
creature as
a Woggle-Bug,
and
when I found that the hearth
was even warmer and more comfortable
than the sunshine, I resolved
to establish my future home beside
it. So I found a charming nest
between two bricks and hid myself
therein for many, many months.
"Professor
Nowitall is,
doubtless,
the most famous
scholar in
the
land of Oz, and after a few days
I began to listen to the lectures
and discourses he gave his pupils.
Not one of them was more attentive
than the humble, unnoticed Woggle-Bug,
and I acquired in this way a
fund of knowledge that I will
myself confess is simply marvelous.
That is why I place 'T.E.' Thoroughly
Educated upon my cards; for my
greatest pride lies in the fact
that the world cannot produce
another Woggle-Bug with a tenth
part of my own culture and erudition."
"I do not blame you," said
the Scarecrow. "Education is
a thing to be proud of. I'm educated
myself. The mess of brains given
me by the Great Wizard is considered
by my friends to be unexcelled."
"Nevertheless," interrupted
the Tin Woodman, "a good heart
is, I believe, much more desirable
than education or brains."
"To me," said the Saw-Horse, "a
good leg is more desirable than
either."
"Could seeds be considered
in the light of brains?" enquired
the Pumpkinhead, abruptly.
"Keep quiet!" commanded
Tip, sternly.
"Very well, dear father," answered
the obedient Jack.
The Woggle-Bug listened patiently
-- even respectfully -- to these
remarks, and then resumed his
story.
"I must have lived fully three
years in that secluded school-house
hearth," said he, "drinking thirstily
of the ever-flowing fount of
limpid knowledge before me."
"Quite poetical," commented
the Scarecrow, nodding his head
approvingly.
"But one, day" continued the
Bug, "a marvelous circumstance
occurred that altered my very
existence and brought me to my
present pinnacle of greatness.
The Professor discovered me in
the act of crawling across the
hearth, and before I could escape
he had caught me between his
thumb and forefinger.
"'My
dear children,'
said he, 'I
have captured
a Woggle-Bug
-- a very rare and interesting
specimen. Do any of you know
what a Woggle-Bug is?'
"'No!'
yelled the
scholars, in
chorus.
"'Then,'
said the Professor,
'I will get out my famous magnifying-glass
and throw the insect upon a screen
in a highly-magnified condition,
that you may all study carefully
its peculiar construction and
become acquainted with its habits
and manner of life.'
"He
then brought
from a cupboard
a most curious instrument, and
before I could realize what had
happened I found myself thrown
upon a screen in a highly-magnified
state -- even as you now behold
me.
"The
students stood
up on their
stools and craned their heads
forward to get a better view
of me, and two little girls jumped
upon the sill of an open window
where they could see more plainly.
"'Behold!'
cried the Professor,
in a loud voice, 'this highly-magnified
Woggle-Bug; one of the most curious
insects in existence!'
"Being
Thoroughly
Educated, and
knowing what
is required
of a cultured gentleman, at this
juncture I stood upright and,
placing my hand upon my bosom,
made a very polite bow. My action,
being unexpected, must have startled
them, for one of the little girls
perched upon the window-sill
gave a scream and fell backward
out the window, drawing her companion
with her as she disappeared.
"The
Professor uttered
a cry of horror
and rushed
away through
the door to see if the poor children
were injured by the fall. The
scholars followed after him in
a wild mob, and I was left alone
in the school-room, still in
a Highly-Magnified state and
free to do as I pleased.
"It
immediately
occurred to
me that this was a good opportunity
to escape. I was proud of my
great size, and realized that
now I could safely travel anywhere
in the world, while my superior
culture would make me a fit associate
for the most learned person I
might chance to meet.
"So,
while the Professor
picked the
little girls
-- who were
more frightened than hurt --
off the ground, and the pupils
clustered around him closely
grouped, I calmly walked out
of the school-house, turned a
corner, and escaped unnoticed
to a grove of trees that stood
near"
"Wonderful!" exclaimed
the Pumpkinhead,
admiringly.
"It was, indeed," agreed the
Woggle-Bug. "I have never ceased
to congratulate myself for escaping
while I was Highly Magnified;
for even my excessive knowledge
would have proved of little use
to me had I remained a tiny,
insignificant insect."
"I didn't know before," said
Tip, looking at the Woggle-Bug
with a puzzled expression, "that
insects wore clothes."
"Nor do they, in their natural
state," returned the stranger. "But
in the course of my wanderings
I had the good fortune to save
the ninth life of a tailor --
tailors having, like cats, nine
lives, as you probably know.
The fellow was exceedingly grateful,
for had he lost that ninth life
it would have been the end of
him; so he begged permission
to furnish me with the stylish
costume I now wear. It fits very
nicely, does it not?" and the
Woggle-Bug stood up and turned
himself around slowly, that all
might examine his person.
"He must have been a good tailor," said
the Scarecrow, somewhat enviously.
"He was a good-hearted tailor,
at any rate," observed Nick Chopper.
"But where were you going,
when you met us?" Tip asked the
Woggle-Bug.
"Nowhere in particular," was
the reply, "although it is my
intention soon to visit the Emerald
City and arrange to give a course
of lectures to select audiences
on the 'Advantages of Magnification.'"
"We are bound for the Emerald
City now," said the Tin Woodman; "so,
if it pleases you to do so, you
are welcome to travel in our
company."
The Woggle-Bug bowed with profound
grace.
"It will give me great pleasure," said
he "to accept your kind invitation;
for nowhere in the Land of Oz
could I hope to meet with so
congenial a company."
"That is true," acknowledged
the Pumpkinhead. "We are quite
as congenial as flies and honey."
"But -- pardon me if I seem
inquisitive -- are you not all
rather -- ahem! rather unusual?" asked
the Woggle-Bug, looking from
one to another with unconcealed
interest.
"Not more so than yourself," answered
the Scarecrow. "Everything in
life is unusual until you get
accustomed to it."
"What rare philosophy!" exclaimed
the Woggle-Bug, admiringly.
"Yes; my brains are working
well today," admitted the Scarecrow,
an accent of pride in his voice.
"Then, if you are sufficiently
rested and refreshed, let us
bend our steps toward the Emerald
City," suggested the magnified
one.
"We can't," said Tip. "The
Saw-Horse has broken a leg, so
he can't bend his steps. And
there is no wood around to make
him a new limb from. And we can't
leave the horse behind because
the Pumpkinhead is so stiff in
his Joints that he has to ride."
"How very unfortunate!" cried
the Woggle-Bug. Then he looked
the party over carefully and
said:
"If
the Pumpkinhead
is to ride,
why not use one of his legs to
make a leg for the horse that
carries him? I judge that both
are made of wood."
"Now, that is what I call real
cleverness," said the Scarecrow,
approvingly. "I wonder my brains
did not think of that long ago!
Get to work, my dear Nick, and
fit the Pumpkinhead's leg to
the Saw-Horse."
Jack
was not especially
pleased with
this idea;
but he submitted
to having his left leg amputated
by the Tin Woodman and whittled
down to fit the left leg of the
Saw-Horse. Nor was the Saw-Horse
especially pleased with the operation,
either; for he growled a good
deal about being "butchered," as
he called it, and afterward declared
that the new leg was a disgrace
to a respectable Saw-Horse.
"I beg you to be more careful
in your speech," said the Pumpkinhead,
sharply. "Remember, if you please,
that it is my leg you are abusing."
"I cannot forget it," retorted
the Saw-Horse, "for it is quite
as flimsy as the rest of your
person."
"Flimsy! me flimsy!" cried
Jack, in a rage. "How dare you
call me flimsy?"
"Because you are built as absurdly
as a jumping-jack," sneered the
horse, rolling his knotty eyes
in a vicious manner. "Even your
head won't stay straight, and
you never can tell whether you
are looking backwards or forwards!"
"Friends, I entreat you not
to quarrel!" pleaded the Tin
Woodman, anxiously." As a matter
of fact, we are none of us above
criticism; so let us bear with
each others' faults."
"An excellent suggestion," said
the Woggle-Bug, approvingly. "You
must have an excellent heart,
my metallic friend."
"I have," returned Nick, well
pleased. "My heart is quite the
best part of me. But now let
us start upon our Journey.
They perched the one-legged
Pumpkinhead upon the Saw-Horse,
and tied him to his seat with
cords, so that he could not possibly
fall off.
And then, following the lead
of the Scarecrow, they all advanced
in the direction of the Emerald
City.
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