The tardy gig had overtaken
me at last. I entered it, and
bade the man who brought it drive
to Grassdale Manor - I was too
busy with my own thoughts to
care to drive it myself. I would
see Mrs. Huntingdon - there could
be no impropriety in that now
that her husband had been dead
above a year - and by her indifference
or her joy at my unexpected arrival
I could soon tell whether her
heart was truly mine. But my
companion, a loquacious, forward
fellow, was not disposed to leave
me to the indulgence of my private
cogitations.
'There they go!' said he, as
the carriages filed away before
us. 'There'll be brave doings
on yonder to-day, as what come
to-morra. - Know anything of
that family, sir? or you're a
stranger in these parts?'
'I know them by report.'
'Humph! There's the best of
'em gone, anyhow. And I suppose
the old missis is agoing to leave
after this stir's gotten overed,
and take herself off, somewhere,
to live on her bit of a jointure;
and the young 'un - at least
the new 'un (she's none so very
young) - is coming down to live
at the Grove.'
'Is Mr. Hargrave married, then?'
'Ay, sir, a few months since.
He should a been wed afore, to
a widow lady, but they couldn't
agree over the money: she'd a
rare long purse, and Mr. Hargrave
wanted it all to hisself; but
she wouldn't let it go, and so
then they fell out. This one
isn't quite as rich, nor as handsome
either, but she hasn't been married
before. She's very plain, they
say, and getting on to forty
or past, and so, you know, if
she didn't jump at this hopportunity,
she thought she'd never get a
better. I guess she thought such
a handsome young husband was
worth all 'at ever she had, and
he might take it and welcome,
but I lay she'll rue her bargain
afore long. They say she begins
already to see 'at he isn't not
altogether that nice, generous,
perlite, delightful gentleman
'at she thought him afore marriage
- he begins a being careless
and masterful already. Ay, and
she'll find him harder and carelesser
nor she thinks on.'
'You seem to be well acquainted
with him,' I observed.
'I am, sir; I've known him
since he was quite a young gentleman;
and a proud 'un he was, and a
wilful. I was servant yonder
for several years; but I couldn't
stand their niggardly ways -
she got ever longer and worse,
did missis, with her nipping
and screwing, and watching and
grudging; so I thought I'd find
another place.'
'Are we not near the house?'
said I, interrupting him.
'Yes, sir; yond's the park.'
My heart sank within me to
behold that stately mansion in
the midst of its expansive grounds.
The park as beautiful now, in
its wintry garb, as it could
be in its summer glory: the majestic
sweep, the undulating swell and
fall, displayed to full advantage
in that robe of dazzling purity,
stainless and printless - save
one long, winding track left
by the trooping deer - the stately
timber-trees with their heavy-laden
branches gleaming white against
the dull, grey sky; the deep,
encircling woods; the broad expanse
of water sleeping in frozen quiet;
and the weeping ash and willow
drooping their snow-clad boughs
above it - all presented a picture,
striking indeed, and pleasing
to an unencumbered mind, but
by no means encouraging to me.
There was one comfort, however,
- all this was entailed upon
little Arthur, and could not
under any circumstances, strictly
speaking, be his mother's. But
how was she situated? Overcoming
with a sudden effort my repugnance
to mention her name to my garrulous
companion, I asked him if he
knew whether her late husband
had left a will, and how the
property had been disposed of.
Oh, yes, he knew all about it;
and I was quickly informed that
to her had been left the full
control and management of the
estate during her son's minority,
besides the absolute, unconditional
possession of her own fortune
(but I knew that her father had
not given her much), and the
small additional sum that had
been settled upon her before
marriage.
Before the close of the explanation
we drew up at the park-gates.
Now for the trial. If I should
find her within - but alas! she
might be still at Staningley:
her brother had given me no intimation
to the contrary. I inquired at
the porter's lodge if Mrs. Huntingdon
were at home. No, she was with
her aunt in -shire, but was expected
to return before Christmas. She
usually spent most of her time
at Staningley, only coming to
Grassdale occasionally, when
the management of affairs, or
the interest of her tenants and
dependents, required her presence.
'Near
what town is
Staningley
situated?'
I asked. The
requisite
information was soon obtained.
'Now then, my man, give me the
reins, and we'll return to M-.
I must have some breakfast at
the "Rose and Crown," and then
away to Staningley by the first
coach for -.'
At M- I had time before the
coach started to replenish my
forces with a hearty breakfast,
and to obtain the refreshment
of my usual morning's ablutions,
and the amelioration of some
slight change in my toilet, and
also to despatch a short note
to my mother (excellent son that
I was), to assure her that I
was still in existence, and to
excuse my non-appearance at the
expected time. It was a long
journey to Staningley for those
slow-travelling days, but I did
not deny myself needful refreshment
on the road, nor even a night's
rest at a wayside inn, choosing
rather to brook a little delay
than to present myself worn,
wild, and weather-beaten before
my mistress and her aunt, who
would be astonished enough to
see me without that. Next morning,
therefore, I not only fortified
myself with as substantial a
breakfast as my excited feelings
would allow me to swallow, but
I bestowed a little more than
usual time and care upon my toilet;
and, furnished with a change
of linen from my small carpet-bag,
well-brushed clothes, well-polished
boots, and neat new gloves, I
mounted 'The Lightning,' and
resumed my journey. I had nearly
two stages yet before me, but
the coach, I was informed, passed
through the neighbourhood of
Staningley, and having desired
to be set down as near the Hall
as possible, I had nothing to
do but to sit with folded arms
and speculate upon the coming
hour.
It was a clear, frosty morning.
The very fact of sitting exalted
aloft, surveying the snowy landscape
and sweet sunny sky, inhaling
the pure, bracing air, and crunching
away over the crisp frozen snow,
was exhilarating enough in itself;
but add to this the idea of to
what goal I was hastening, and
whom I expected to meet, and
you may have some faint conception
of my frame of mind at the time
- only a faint one, though: for
my heart swelled with unspeakable
delight, and my spirits rose
almost to madness, in spite of
my prudent endeavours to bind
them down to a reasonable platitude
by thinking of the undeniable
difference between Helen's rank
and mine; of all that she had
passed through since our parting;
of her long, unbroken silence;
and, above all, of her cool,
cautious aunt, whose counsels
she would doubtless be careful
not to slight again. These considerations
made my heart flutter with anxiety,
and my chest heave with impatience
to get the crisis over; but they
could not dim her image in my
mind, or mar the vivid recollection
of what had been said and felt
between us, or destroy the keen
anticipation of what was to be:
in fact, I could not realise
their terrors now. Towards the
close of the journey, however,
a couple of my fellow- passengers
kindly came to my assistance,
and brought me low enough.
'Fine land this,' said one
of them, pointing with his umbrella
to the wide fields on the right,
conspicuous for their compact
hedgerows, deep, well-cut ditches,
and fine timber-trees, growing
sometimes on the borders, sometimes
in the midst of the enclosure:
'very fine land, if you saw it
in the summer or spring.'
'Ay,' responded the other,
a gruff elderly man, with a drab
greatcoat buttoned up to the
chin, and a cotton umbrella between
his knees. 'It's old Maxwell's,
I suppose.'
'It was his, sir; but he's
dead now, you're aware, and has
left it all to his niece.'
'All?'
'Every rood of it, and the
mansion-house and all! every
hatom of his worldly goods, except
just a trifle, by way of remembrance,
to his nephew down in -shire,
and an annuity to his wife.'
'It's strange, sir!'
'It is, sir; and she wasn't
his own niece neither. But he
had no near relations of his
own - none but a nephew he'd
quarrelled with; and he always
had a partiality for this one.
And then his wife advised him
to it, they say: she'd brought
most of the property, and it
was her wish that this lady should
have it.'
'Humph! She'll be a fine catch
for somebody.'
'She will so. She's a widow,
but quite young yet, and uncommon
handsome: a fortune of her own,
besides, and only one child,
and she's nursing a fine estate
for him in -. There'll be lots
to speak for her! 'fraid there's
no chance for uz' - (facetiously
jogging me with his elbow, as
well as his companion) - 'ha,
ha, ha! No offence, sir, I hope?'
- (to me). 'Ahem! I should think
she'll marry none but a nobleman
myself. Look ye, sir,' resumed
he, turning to his other neighbour,
and pointing past me with his
umbrella, 'that's the Hall: grand
park, you see, and all them woods
- plenty of timber there, and
lots of game. Hallo! what now?'
This exclamation was occasioned
by the sudden stoppage of the
coach at the park-gates.
'Gen'leman for Staningley Hall?'
cried the coachman and I rose
and threw my carpet-bag on to
the ground, preparatory to dropping
myself down after it.
'Sickly, sir?' asked my talkative
neighbour, staring me in the
face. I daresay it was white
enough.
'No. Here, coachman!'
'Thank'ee, sir. - All right!'
The coachman pocketed his fee
and drove away, leaving me, not
walking up the park, but pacing
to and fro before its gates,
with folded arms, and eyes fixed
upon the ground, an overwhelming
force of images, thoughts, impressions
crowding on my mind, and nothing
tangibly distinct but this: My
love had been cherished in vain
- my hope was gone for ever;
I must tear myself away at once,
and banish or suppress all thoughts
of her, like the remembrance
of a wild, mad dream. Gladly
would I have lingered round the
place for hours, in the hope
of catching at least one distant
glimpse of her before I went,
but it must not be - I must not
suffer her to see me; for what
could have brought me hither
but the hope of reviving her
attachment, with a view hereafter
to obtain her hand? And could
I bear that she should think
me capable of such a thing? -
of presuming upon the acquaintance
- the love, if you will - accidentally
contracted, or rather forced
upon her against her will, when
she was an unknown fugitive,
toiling for her own support,
apparently without fortune, family,
or connections; to come upon
her now, when she was reinstated
in her proper sphere, and claim
a share in her prosperity, which,
had it never failed her, would
most certainly have kept her
unknown to me for ever? And this,
too, when we had parted sixteen
months ago, and she had expressly
forbidden me to hope for a re-union
in this world, and never sent
me a line or a message from that
day to this. No! The very idea
was intolerable.
And even if she should have
a lingering affection for me
still, ought I to disturb her
peace by awakening those feelings?
to subject her to the struggles
of conflicting duty and inclination
- to whichsoever side the latter
might allure, or the former imperatively
call her - whether she should
deem it her duty to risk the
slights and censures of the world,
the sorrow and displeasure of
those she loved, for a romantic
idea of truth and constancy to
me, or to sacrifice her individual
wishes to the feelings of her
friends and her own sense of
prudence and the fitness of things?
No - and I would not! I would
go at once, and she should never
know that I had approached the
place of her abode: for though
I might disclaim all idea of
ever aspiring to her hand, or
even of soliciting a place in
her friendly regard, her peace
should not be broken by my presence,
nor her heart afflicted by the
sight of my fidelity.
'Adieu then, dear Helen, forever!
Forever adieu!'
So said I - and yet I could
not tear myself away. I moved
a few paces, and then looked
back, for one last view of her
stately home, that I might have
its outward form, at least, impressed
upon my mind as indelibly as
her own image, which, alas! I
must not see again - then walked
a few steps further; and then,
lost in melancholy musings, paused
again and leant my back against
a rough old tree that grew beside
the road.
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