THERE were moments of waiting.
The youth thought of the village
street at home before the arrival
of the circus parade on a day
in the spring. He remembered
how he had stood, a small, thrillful
boy, prepared to follow the dingy
lady upon the white horse, or
the band in its faded chariot.
He saw the yellow road, the lines
of expectant people, and the
sober houses. He particularly
remembered an old fellow who
used to sit upon a cracker box
in front of the store and feign
to despise such exhibitions.
A thousand details of color and
form surged in his mind. The
old fellow upon the cracker box
ap-
peared in middle prominence.
Some one cried, "Here
they come!"
There was rustling and muttering
among the men. They displayed
a feverish desire to have every
possible cartridge ready to their
hands. The boxes were pulled
around into various posi- tions,
and adjusted with great care.
It was as if seven hundred new
bonnets were being tried on.
53
The tall soldier, having prepared
his rifle, pro- duced a red handkerchief
of some kind. He was engaged
in knitting it about his throat
with ex- quisite attention to
its position, when the cry was
repeated up and down the line
in a muffled roar of sound.
"Here they come! Here they
come!" Gun locks clicked.
Across the smoke-infested fields
came a brown swarm of running
men who were giving shrill yells.
They came on, stooping and swinging
their rifles at all angles. A
flag, tilted forward, sped near
the front.
As he caught sight of them
the youth was momentarily startled
by a thought that perhaps his
gun was not loaded. He stood
trying to rally his faltering
intellect so that he might rec-
ollect the moment when he had
loaded, but he could not.
A hatless general
pulled his dripping horse to
a stand near
the colonel of the 304th. He
shook his fist in the other's
face. "You 've got to hold 'em
back!" he shouted, savagely; "you
've got to hold 'em back!"
In his agitation
the colonel began to stammer. "A-all r-right,
General, all right, by Gawd!
We- we'll do our--we-we'll d-d-do--do
our best, Gen- eral." The general
made a passionate gesture and
galloped away. The colonel, perchance
to relieve his feelings, began
to scold like a wet parrot. The
youth, turning swiftly to make
sure that the rear was unmolested,
saw the com- mander regarding
his men in a highly regretful
manner, as if he regretted above
everything his association with
them.
The man at
the youth's elbow was mumbling,
as if to himself: "Oh,
we 're in for it now! oh, we
're in for it now!"
The captain
of the company had been pacing
excitedly to
and fro in the rear. He coaxed
in schoolmistress fashion, as
to a congregation of boys with
primers. His talk was an endless
repetition. "Reserve your fire,
boys--don't shoot till I tell
you--save your fire--wait till
they get close up--don't be damned
fools--"
Perspiration streamed down
the youth's face, which was soiled
like that of a weeping urchin.
He frequently, with a nervous
movement, wiped his eyes with
his coat sleeve. His mouth was
still a little ways open.
He got the one glance at the
foe-swarming field in front of
him, and instantly ceased to
de- bate the question of his
piece being loaded. Be- fore
he was ready to begin--before
he had an- nounced to himself
that he was about to fight--
he threw the obedient, well-balanced
rifle into position and fired
a first wild shot. Directly he
was working at his weapon like
an automatic affair.
He suddenly lost concern for
himself, and for- got to look
at a menacing fate. He became
not a man but a member. He felt
that something of which he was
a part--a regiment, an army,
a cause, or a country--was in
a crisis. He was welded into
a common personality which was
dominated by a single desire.
For some mo- ments he could not
flee no more than a little finger
can commit a revolution from
a hand.
If he had thought the regiment
was about to be annihilated perhaps
he could have amputated himself
from it. But its noise gave him
assur- ance. The regiment was
like a firework that, once ignited,
proceeds superior to circumstances
until its blazing vitality fades.
It wheezed and banged with a
mighty power. He pictured the
ground before it as strewn with
the discom- fited.
There was a consciousness always
of the pres- ence of his comrades
about him. He felt the subtle
battle brotherhood more potent
even than the cause for which
they were fighting. It was a
mysterious fraternity born of
the smoke and dan- ger of death.
He was at a task. He was like
a carpenter who has made many
boxes, making still another box,
only there was furious haste
in his move- ments. He, in his
thought, was careering off in
other places, even as the carpenter
who as he works whistles and
thinks of his friend or his enemy,
his home or a saloon. And these
jolted dreams were never perfect
to him afterward, but remained
a mass of blurred shapes.
Presently he began to feel
the effects of the war atmosphere--a
blistering sweat, a sensation
that his eyeballs were about
to crack like hot stones. A burning
roar filled his ears.
Following this came a red rage.
He devel- oped the acute exasperation
of a pestered animal, a well-meaning
cow worried by dogs. He had a
mad feeling against his rifle,
which could only be used against
one life at a time. He wished
to rush forward and strangle
with his fingers. He craved a
power that would enable him to
make a world-sweeping gesture
and brush all back. His impotency
appeared to him, and made his
rage into that of a driven beast.
Buried in the smoke of many
rifles his anger was directed
not so much against the men whom
he knew were rushing toward him
as against the swirling battle
phantoms which were choking him,
stuffing their smoke robes down
his parched throat. He fought
frantically for respite for his
senses, for air, as a babe being
smothered attacks the deadly
blankets.
There was a
blare of heated rage mingled
with a certain expression
of intentness on all faces. Many
of the men were making low-toned
noises with their mouths, and
these subdued cheers, snarls,
imprecations, prayers, made a
wild, bar- baric song that went
as an undercurrent of sound,
strange and chantlike with the
resounding chords of the war
march. The man at the youth's
elbow was babbling. In it there
was something soft and tender
like the monologue of a babe.
The tall soldier was swearing
in a loud voice. From his lips
came a black procession of curious
oaths. Of a sudden another broke
out in a querulous way like a
man who has mislaid his hat. "Well,
why don't they support us? Why
don't they send supports? Do
they think--"
The youth in his battle sleep
heard this as one who dozes hears.
There was a singular absence
of heroic poses. The men bending
and surging in their haste and
rage were in every impossible
attitude. The steel ramrods clanked
and clanged with incessant din
as the men pounded them furiously
into the hot rifle barrels. The
flaps of the cartridge boxes
were all unfastened, and bobbed
idiotically with each movement.
The rifles, once loaded, were
jerked to the shoulder and fired
without apparent aim into the
smoke or at one of the blurred
and shift- ing forms which upon
the field before the regi- ment
had been growing larger and larger
like puppets under a magician's
hand.
The officers, at their intervals,
rearward, neg- lected to stand
in picturesque attitudes. They
were bobbing to and fro roaring
directions and encouragements.
The dimensions of their howls
were extraordinary. They expended
their lungs with prodigal wills.
And often they nearly stood upon
their heads in their anxiety
to observe the enemy on the other
side of the tumbling smoke.
The lieutenant of the youth's
company had en- countered a soldier
who had fled screaming at the
first volley of his comrades.
Behind the lines these two were
acting a little isolated scene.
The man was blubbering and staring
with sheeplike eyes at the lieutenant,
who had seized him by the collar
and was pommeling him. He drove
him back into the ranks with
many blows. The sol- dier went
mechanically, dully, with his
animal- like eyes upon the officer.
Perhaps there was to him a divinity
expressed in the voice of the
other --stern, hard, with no
reflection of fear in it. He
tried to reload his gun, but
his shaking hands pre- vented.
The lieutenant was obliged to
assist him.
The men dropped
here and there like bundles.
The captain of
the youth's company had been
killed in an early part of the
action. His body lay stretched
out in the position of a tired
man resting, but upon his face
there was an astonished and sorrowful
look, as if he thought some friend
had done him an ill turn. The
babbling man was grazed by a
shot that made the blood stream
widely down his face. He clapped
both hands to his head. "Oh!" he
said, and ran. Another grunted
suddenly as if he had been struck
by a club in the stomach. He
sat down and gazed ruefully.
In his eyes there was mute, indefinite
reproach. Farther up the line
a man, standing behind a tree,
had had his knee joint splintered
by a ball. Immediately he had
dropped his rifle and gripped
the tree with both arms. And
there he remained, clinging desperately
and crying for assistance that
he might withdraw his hold upon
the tree.
At last an exultant yell went
along the quiver- ing line. The
firing dwindled from an uproar
to a last vindictive popping.
As the smoke slowly eddied away,
the youth saw that the charge
had been repulsed. The enemy
were scattered into reluctant
groups. He saw a man climb to
the top of the fence, straddle
the rail, and fire a part- ing
shot. The waves had receded,
leaving bits of dark debris upon
the ground.
Some in the regiment began
to whoop fren- ziedly. Many were
silent. Apparently they were
trying to contemplate themselves.
After the fever had left his
veins, the youth thought that
at last he was going to suffocate.
He became aware of the foul atmosphere
in which he had been struggling.
He was grimy and dripping like
a laborer in a foundry. He grasped
his canteen and took a long swallow
of the warmed water.
A sentence
with variations went up and
down the line. "Well,
we 've helt 'em back. We 've
helt 'em back; derned if we haven't." The
men said it blissfully, leering
at each other with dirty smiles.
The youth turned to look behind
him and off to the right and
off to the left. He experienced
the joy of a man who at last
finds leisure in which to look
about him.
Under foot there were a few
ghastly forms motionless. They
lay twisted in fantastic contor-
tions. Arms were bent and heads
were turned in incredible ways.
It seemed that the dead men must
have fallen from some great height
to get into such positions. They
looked to be dumped out upon
the ground from the sky.
From a position in the rear
of the grove a bat- tery was
throwing shells over it. The
flash of the guns startled the
youth at first. He thought they
were aimed directly at him. Through
the trees he watched the black
figures of the gunners as they
worked swiftly and intently.
Their labor seemed a complicated
thing. He wondered how they could
remember its formula in the midst
of confusion.
The guns squatted in a row
like savage chiefs. They argued
with abrupt violence. It was
a grim pow-wow. Their busy servants
ran hither and thither.
A small procession of wounded
men were go- ing drearily toward
the rear. It was a flow of blood
from the torn body of the brigade.
To the right and to the left
were the dark lines of other
troops. Far in front he thought
he could see lighter masses protruding
in points from the forest. They
were suggestive of un- numbered
thousands.
Once he saw a tiny battery
go dashing along the line of
the horizon. The tiny riders
were beating the tiny horses.
From a sloping hill came the
sound of cheer- ings and clashes.
Smoke welled slowly through the
leaves.
Batteries were speaking with
thunderous ora- torical effort.
Here and there were flags, the
red in the stripes dominating.
They splashed bits of warm color
upon the dark lines of troops.
The youth felt the old thrill
at the sight of the emblem. They
were like beautiful birds strangely
undaunted in a storm.
As he listened to the din from
the hillside, to a deep pulsating
thunder that came from afar to
the left, and to the lesser clamors
which came from many directions,
it occurred to him that they
were fighting, too, over there,
and over there, and over there.
Heretofore he had sup- posed
that all the battle was directly
under his nose.
As he gazed around him the
youth felt a flash of astonishment
at the blue, pure sky and the
sun gleamings on the trees and
fields. It was surprising that
Nature had gone tranquilly on
with her golden process in the
midst of so much devilment.
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