It did not take Dorothy long
to establish herself in her new
home, for she knew the people
and the manners and customs of
the Emerald City just as well
as she knew the old Kansas farm.
But Uncle Henry
and Aunt Em had some trouble
in getting used
to the finery and pomp and ceremony
of Ozma's palace, and felt uneasy
because they were obliged to
be "dressed up" all the time.
Yet every one was very courteous
and kind to them and endeavored
to make them happy. Ozma, especially,
made much of Dorothy's relatives,
for her little friend's sake,
and she well knew that the awkwardness
and strangeness of their new
mode of life would all wear off
in time.
The old people were chiefly
troubled by the fact that there
was no work for them to do.
"Ev'ry day is like Sunday,
now," declared Aunt Em, solemnly, "and
I can't say I like it. If they'd
only let me do up the dishes
after meals, or even sweep an'
dust my own rooms, I'd be a deal
happier. Henry don't know what
to do with himself either, and
once when he stole out an' fed
the chickens Billina scolded
him for letting 'em eat between
meals. I never knew before what
a hardship it is to be rich and
have everything you want."
These complaints began to worry
Dorothy; so she had a long talk
with Ozma upon the subject.
"I see I must find them something
to do," said the girlish Ruler
of Oz, seriously. "I have been
watching your uncle and aunt,
and I believe they will be more
contented if occupied with some
light tasks. While I am considering
this matter, Dorothy, you might
make a trip with them through
the Land of Oz, visiting some
of the odd corners and introducing
your relatives to some of our
curious people."
"Oh, that would be fine!" exclaimed
Dorothy, eagerly.
"I will give you an escort
befitting your rank as a Princess," continued
Ozma; "and you may go to some
of the places you have not yet
visited yourself, as well as
some others that you know. I
will mark out a plan of the trip
for you and have everything in
readiness for you to start to-morrow
morning. Take your time, dear,
and be gone as long as you wish.
By the time you return I shall
have found some occupation for
Uncle Henry and Aunt Em that
will keep them from being restless
and dissatisfied."
Dorothy thanked her good friend
and kissed the lovely Ruler gratefully.
Then she ran to tell the joyful
news to her uncle and aunt.
Next morning, after breakfast,
everything was found ready for
their departure.
The escort included Omby Amby,
the Captain General of Ozma's
army, which consisted merely
of twenty-seven officers besides
the Captain General. Once Omby
Amby had been a private soldier--the
only private in the army--but
as there was never any fighting
to do Ozma saw no need of a private,
so she made Omby Amby the highest
officer of them all. He was very
tall and slim and wore a gay
uniform and a fierce mustache.
Yet the mustache was the only
fierce thing about Omby Amby,
whose nature was as gentle as
that of a child.
The wonderful Wizard had asked
to join the party, and with him
came his friend the Shaggy Man,
who was shaggy but not ragged,
being dressed in fine silks with
satin shags and bobtails. The
Shaggy Man had shaggy whiskers
and hair, but a sweet disposition
and a soft, pleasant voice.
There was an open wagon, with
three seats for the passengers,
and the wagon was drawn by the
famous wooden Sawhorse which
had once been brought to life
by Ozma by means of a magic powder.
The Sawhorse wore wooden shoes
to keep his wooden legs from
wearing away, and he was strong
and swift. As this curious creature
was Ozma's own favorite steed,
and very popular with all the
people of the Emerald City, Dorothy
knew that she had been highly
favored by being permitted to
use the Sawhorse on her journey.
In the front seat of the wagon
sat Dorothy and the Wizard. Uncle
Henry and Aunt Em sat in the
next seat and the Shaggy Man
and Omby Amby in the third seat.
Of course Toto was with the party,
curled up at Dorothy's feet,
and just as they were about to
start, Billina came fluttering
along the path and begged to
be taken with them. Dorothy readily
agreed, so the Yellow Hen flew
up and perched herself upon the
dashboard. She wore her pearl
necklace and three bracelets
upon each leg, in honor of the
occasion.
Dorothy kissed
Ozma good-bye, and all the
people standing around
waved their handkerchiefs, and
the band in an upper balcony
struck up a military march. Then
the Wizard clucked to the Sawhorse
and said: "Gid-dap!" and the
wooden animal pranced away and
drew behind him the big red wagon
and all the passengers, without
any effort at all. A servant
threw open a gate of the palace
enclosure, that they might pass
out; and so, with music and shouts
following them, the journey was
begun.
"It's almost like a circus," said
Aunt Em, proudly. "I can't help
feelin' high an' mighty in this
kind of a turn-out."
Indeed, as they passed down
the street, all the people cheered
them lustily, and the Shaggy
Man and the Wizard and the Captain
General all took off their hats
and bowed politely in acknowledgment.
When they came to the great
wall of the Emerald City, the
gates were opened by the Guardian
who always tended them. Over
the gateway hung a dull-colored
metal magnet shaped like a horse-shoe,
placed against a shield of polished
gold.
"That," said the Shaggy Man,
impressively, "is the wonderful
Love Magnet. I brought it to
the Emerald City myself, and
all who pass beneath this gateway
are both loving and beloved."
"It's a fine thing," declared
Aunt Em, admiringly. "If we'd
had it in Kansas I guess the
man who held a mortgage on the
farm wouldn't have turned us
out."
"Then I'm glad we didn't have
it," returned Uncle Henry. "I
like Oz better than Kansas, even;
an' this little wood Sawhorse
beats all the critters I ever
saw. He don't have to be curried,
or fed, or watered, an' he's
strong as an ox. Can he talk,
Dorothy?"
"Yes, Uncle," replied the child. "But
the Sawhorse never says much.
He told me once that he can't
talk and think at the same time,
so he prefers to think."
"Which is very sensible," declared
the Wizard, nodding approvingly. "Which
way do we go, Dorothy?"
"Straight ahead into the Quadling
Country," she answered. "I've
got a letter of interduction
to Miss Cuttenclip."
"Oh!" exclaimed the Wizard,
much interested. "Are we going
there? Then I'm glad I came,
for I've always wanted to meet
the Cuttenclips."
"Who are they?" inquired
Aunt Em.
"Wait till we get there," replied
Dorothy, with a laugh; "then
you'll see for yourself. I've
never seen the Cuttenclips, you
know, so I can't 'zactly 'splain
'em to you."
Once free of the Emerald City
the Sawhorse dashed away at tremendous
speed. Indeed, he went so fast
that Aunt Em had hard work to
catch her breath, and Uncle Henry
held fast to the seat of the
red wagon.
"Gently--gently, my boy!" called
the Wizard, and at this the Sawhorse
slackened his speed.
"What's wrong?" asked
the animal, slightly turning
his wooden head
to look at the party with one
eye, which was a knot of wood.
"Why, we wish to admire the
scenery, that's all," answered
the Wizard.
"Some of your passengers," added
the Shaggy Man, "have never been
out of the Emerald City before,
and the country is all new to
them."
"If you go too fast you'll
spoil all the fun," said Dorothy. "There's
no hurry."
"Very well; it is all the same
to me," observed the Sawhorse;
and after that he went at a more
moderate pace.
Uncle Henry was astonished.
"How can a wooden thing be
so intelligent?" he asked.
"Why, I gave him some sawdust
brains the last time I fitted
his head with new ears," explained
the Wizard. "The sawdust was
made from hard knots, and now
the Sawhorse is able to think
out any knotty problem he meets
with."
"I see," said
Uncle Henry.
"I don't," remarked
Aunt Em; but no one paid any
attention
to this statement.
Before long they came to a
stately building that stood upon
a green plain with handsome shade
trees grouped here and there.
"What is that?" asked
Uncle Henry.
"That," replied the Wizard, "is
the Royal Athletic College of
Oz, which is directed by Professor
H. M. Wogglebug, T.E."
"Let's stop and make a call," suggested
Dorothy.
So the Sawhorse drew up in
front of the great building and
they were met at the door by
the learned Wogglebug himself.
He seemed fully as tall as the
Wizard, and was dressed in a
red and white checked vest and
a blue swallow-tailed coat, and
had yellow knee breeches and
purple silk stockings upon his
slender legs. A tall hat was
jauntily set upon his head and
he wore spectacles over his big
bright eyes.
"Welcome, Dorothy," said the
Wogglebug; "and welcome to all
your friends. We are indeed pleased
to receive you at this great
Temple of Learning."
"I thought it was an Athletic
College," said the Shaggy Man.
"It is, my dear sir," answered
the Wogglebug, proudly. "Here
it is that we teach the youth
of our great land scientific
College Athletics--in all their
purity."
"Don't you teach them anything
else?" asked Dorothy. "Don't
they get any reading, writing
and 'rithmetic?"
"Oh, yes; of course. They get
all those, and more," returned
the Professor. "But such things
occupy little of their time.
Please follow me and I will show
you how my scholars are usually
occupied. This is a class hour
and they are all busy."
They followed him to a big
field back of the college building,
where several hundred young Ozites
were at their classes. In one
place they played football, in
another baseball. Some played
tennis, some golf; some were
swimming in a big pool. Upon
a river which wound through the
grounds several crews in racing
boats were rowing with great
enthusiasm. Other groups of students
played basketball and cricket,
while in one place a ring was
roped in to permit boxing and
wrestling by the energetic youths.
All the collegians seemed busy
and there was much laughter and
shouting.
"This college," said Professor
Wogglebug, complacently, "is
a great success. Its educational
value is undisputed, and we are
turning out many great and valuable
citizens every year."
"But when do they study?" asked
Dorothy.
"Study?" said
the Wogglebug, looking perplexed
at the question.
"Yes; when
do they get their 'rithmetic,
and jogerfy, and
such things?"
"Oh, they take doses of those
every night and morning," was
the reply.
"What do you mean by doses?" Dorothy
inquired, wonderingly.
"Why, we use
the newly invented School Pills,
made by your friend
the Wizard. These pills we have
found to be very effective, and
they save a lot of time. Please
step this way and I will show
you our Laboratory of Learning."
He led them to a room in the
building where many large bottles
were standing in rows upon shelves.
"These are the Algebra Pills," said
the Professor, taking down one
of the bottles. "One at night,
on retiring, is equal to four
hours of study. Here are the
Geography Pills--one at night
and one in the morning. In this
next bottle are the Latin Pills--one
three times a day. Then we have
the Grammar Pills--one before
each meal--and the Spelling Pills,
which are taken whenever needed."
"Your scholars must have to
take a lot of pills," remarked
Dorothy, thoughtfully. "How do
they take 'em, in applesauce?"
"No, my dear.
They are sugar-coated and are
quickly and easily swallowed.
I believe the students would
rather take the pills than study,
and certainly the pills are a
more effective method. You see,
until these School Pills were
invented we wasted a lot of time
in study that may now be better
employed in practicing athletics."
"Seems to me the pills are
a good thing," said Omby Amby,
who remembered how it used to
make his head ache as a boy to
study arithmetic.
"They are, sir," declared the
Wogglebug, earnestly. "They give
us an advantage over all other
colleges, because at no loss
of time our boys become thoroughly
conversant with Greek and Latin,
Mathematics and Geography, Grammar
and Literature. You see they
are never obliged to interrupt
their games to acquire the lesser
branches of learning."
"It's a great invention, I'm
sure," said Dorothy, looking
admiringly at the Wizard, who
blushed modestly at this praise.
"We live in an age of progress," announced
Professor Wogglebug, pompously. "It
is easier to swallow knowledge
than to acquire it laboriously
from books. Is it not so, my
friends?"
"Some folks can swallow anything," said
Aunt Em, "but to me this seems
too much like taking medicine."
"Young men in college always
have to take their medicine,
one way or another," observed
the Wizard, with a smile; "and,
as our Professor says, these
School Pills have proved to be
a great success. One day while
I was making them I happened
to drop one of them, and one
of Billina's chickens gobbled
it up. A few minutes afterward
this chick got upon a roost and
recited 'The Boy Stood on the
Burning Deck' without making
a single mistake. Then it recited
'The Charge of the Light Brigade'
and afterwards 'Excelsior.' You
see, the chicken had eaten an
Elocution Pill."
They now bade good-bye to the
Professor, and thanking him for
his kind reception mounted again
into the red wagon and continued
their journey.
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